So, here is a collective slideshow delineating my work progress for this artwork. It was really difficult for me to actually find a starting place. I think this is because I am used to having the opportunity to discuss my options with like - minded individuals (like in - class discussions), so I felt more alone during this one. I tried to embrace the individuality of working through "blank canvas syndrome,'" although I did feel frustrated and overwhelmed with my lack of motivation. Once I planned the composition, I felt more confident in my idea. The make - up was not quite how I had envisioned it from the start; I was thinking about creating a more realistic "deer" vibe, but I did not feel comfortable with my make - up capabilities to effectively capture the essence of an actual deer. Plus, after discussing it with Lily, she agreed that more of a fairy - like make - up effect would be just as impactful. I wanted to create a quality of abstraction and eerie dreaminess, the magical combating the tortured. I chose to draw the wings instead of digitally positioning them in the composition because I really enjoy the experience of multi - media work, especially when one element is hand - created; it feels more like real art to me, rather than just a computer - generated design. Together, the deer antlers and wings demonstrate the perpetual struggle between two of the strongest natural defense mechanisms of any creature of prey: flight versus flee. To have both of these options as a way to avoid problems is almost just as dangerous as it is life - saving. I chose for Lily to pose half - turned from the camera, her intense gaze under lowered lids in order to communicate a feeling of loneliness and thinly - veiled vulnerability. This is how I see my sister in her darkest moments of inner turmoil: lost in the maze of her thoughts, struggling with a way to cope with her feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and other expected adolescent emotions... yet she often does her best to uphold a persona of independence and indifference in the face of adversity. I think that many people can identify with this position, and so I hope that the viewer is able to understand at least the essence of my content, which is a narrative about the concept of intrapersonal strengths and weaknesses.
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