For my second project, I have been struggling with formulating a coherent format. What I know for sure is that I want to incorporate an original poem in the actual composition, but I am not sure how to do so, especially since I want for it to be a formal piece of artwork. Here is the poem:
Look at me. No. Do not look at me. L o o k. A t. M e. Bold and italicized, these words are. A breath between each letter, Like the hollow spaces of my weak heartbeat: Bradycardia. Drag your eyes over Every crevice, Meticulous as a weaver finch. Scar my skin – A famished fire of raw yearning – With your blistering gaze, And tell me If you notice a single trace, A footprint, A wisp of hair, A shadowed expression, Of the ghost of a girl I once was. Of a sick and lonely and tired and anxious and desperate and forlorn and restless and neurotic and dispirited and enfeebled And hopelessly forsaken Shell, hull, husk. That weak heartbeat, With the hollow spaces between the sluggish thrums, Growing stronger each day, Nourished by love and nutrients. I didn’t think so.
It is similar to my previous Head and Heart pieces in that it follows a very personal narrative of the infinitesimally intricate experiences of hurting and healing. However, I do not know how to effectively support the words with visuals; I tend to be very literal, so all of my ideas revolve around creating actual images of a heart, a shell, a footprint - all of the concrete language I used in the poem. I would to challenge myself to explore representational images, like a phoenix for resurrection (how phoenixes are born from their own ashes). I am entertaining the idea of the artwork being more of a collage. I am thinking that where the words are spaced out and say "look. at. me," I want to draw eyes using the two 'o's, thus merging the words and the visuals. For the background, I could create an outline of a phoenix with certain prominent details (like the head and feathers of the wings), its wings outspread and bottom half rising from ashes.
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So, here is a collective slideshow delineating my work progress for this artwork. It was really difficult for me to actually find a starting place. I think this is because I am used to having the opportunity to discuss my options with like - minded individuals (like in - class discussions), so I felt more alone during this one. I tried to embrace the individuality of working through "blank canvas syndrome,'" although I did feel frustrated and overwhelmed with my lack of motivation. Once I planned the composition, I felt more confident in my idea. The make - up was not quite how I had envisioned it from the start; I was thinking about creating a more realistic "deer" vibe, but I did not feel comfortable with my make - up capabilities to effectively capture the essence of an actual deer. Plus, after discussing it with Lily, she agreed that more of a fairy - like make - up effect would be just as impactful. I wanted to create a quality of abstraction and eerie dreaminess, the magical combating the tortured. I chose to draw the wings instead of digitally positioning them in the composition because I really enjoy the experience of multi - media work, especially when one element is hand - created; it feels more like real art to me, rather than just a computer - generated design. Together, the deer antlers and wings demonstrate the perpetual struggle between two of the strongest natural defense mechanisms of any creature of prey: flight versus flee. To have both of these options as a way to avoid problems is almost just as dangerous as it is life - saving. I chose for Lily to pose half - turned from the camera, her intense gaze under lowered lids in order to communicate a feeling of loneliness and thinly - veiled vulnerability. This is how I see my sister in her darkest moments of inner turmoil: lost in the maze of her thoughts, struggling with a way to cope with her feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and other expected adolescent emotions... yet she often does her best to uphold a persona of independence and indifference in the face of adversity. I think that many people can identify with this position, and so I hope that the viewer is able to understand at least the essence of my content, which is a narrative about the concept of intrapersonal strengths and weaknesses.
This is simply a close - up of the canvas. I wanted to point out specific details I had edited / enhanced in the process of creating the collective artwork. I had taped the antlers to a plain black headband and then used hairspray to style Lily's hair around the headband so that it was hidden. However, the base of the deer's skull was still visible at the top left part of her head. So, I used a spot - fix feature on my editing app so cover the antler and then "sharpened" the blurred edge of her hair so that it did not seem out of place. In addition to saturating her hair, eyes, and lips, I sharpened the details so that they would stand out more. I also altered the color of her lips and eyes with a color feature that blended into the original image. Using the same color feature, I used a light blush tone to accentuate the highlight along her cheekbone. It is evident in the above close - up that there is a light source from outside of the frame that was placed low to left of Lily. I had set up a lamp on on the floor to create a dramatic atmospheric contrast and unnatural shadows. I was pleased with how the lighting create bright highlights and starkly contrasting shadows. Here is the photo in full. Since I used a stock image for inspiration when it came to the design of the wings, it was hard for me to know how I should shade them in a way that coincided with the actual lighting in the image itself. I am still not sure that I captured it accurately. Alternately, I really like how there are three distinct values in the background, which was created by the lamp. It adds a depth to the image that it would be lacking if the background was completely devoid of color and / or deviations in tone / shade.
I am including these pictures as a way to compare pre - and post - edits I found the image of the wing online. I used them as a reference for drawing / shading these wings, but I obviously deviated a little bit from my 'template.' I didn't want to completely copy the stock image, and really couldn't just because of how I chose to use different hues for the shadows and highlights, rather than keeping it monotone.
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